she never uttered another word
i know how it feels to be this way
i remember the smell of suicide
tears of frustration ran down her face
she just kept going, never stopping
i still have those troubling days
where you just cant find a place
her breath stopped at a screeching halt
it was just too hard to keep on going
i know somebody should have told her
then she would have known it wasnt her fault
mom is pregnant again. it is due in february. i was serious when i told her she was going to drive me to drink. at least by the time demon spawn comes around, school will be almost over and i will be almost on my own. i cant stand it already with a 3 year old and a 1 year old, how will i be with a newborn added to the mix? i am stressing about it because i hate it. i am ignored enough as it is with the other 2 and now shes pregnant and wont be able to go anywhere that i have a school function, she wont wanna come to orchestra performances and she might miss graduation. miss graduation...god, i will die. i cant think about this right now. im worried about other things and now this on top does not help. i hope i dont have a relapse; i CANT have a relapse. there are people who care for me too much for me to relapse and do what i used to do. my mind is spinning and my head aches. my eyes still hurt...i am falling apart as we speak, er, type. i dont know how i am going to do when she starts getting so ditzy and i have to do more than i already do. im stressed enough...i cant...
*sighs and shrugs* im through typing for now...